March 2011
6 posts
3 tags
Because after telling you my name you proceeded to tell me that you had been with 4 women with names that sounded like mine, but really only used them for sex… and that I could be lucky number 5. SMH! #reallythough
2 tags
Because you walked past my partner and I holding hands and your holleration after made it clear that you are not the better man that you claimed to be.
3 tags
Because when I told you I was pregnant, you got even more excited, proclaiming, “Good, that means I can’t get you pregnant, if it’s already one in the oven.”
2 tags
…Because you tried to follow me into my driveway at 10PM. Really, dude? Pick your spots.
2 tags
Because I tried to be polite and you assumed that meant I was interested so you followed me for 2 blocks demanding that i take your card even after I said “no thanks, I’m seeing someone”. Oh and b/c you asked me my name AFTER all of that. So no sir, I will not be calling you tonight.
5 tags
Because i get out of my car to get into my friends car, you feel the need to scream across the street….
“Aye Yo Ma, So how about i put some gas in that car, we take a ride down the street,hit da back seat, and we can get it in”……
That’s when i gave the “Da F**k” face….got in the car… and drove the F off!!!
February 2011
27 posts
4 tags
Because , you asked me “Is your pussy big enough for my dick?”
2 tags
because you approached me drunk at a club mistaking me for someone else while I insisted I didn’t know you till you realized you didn’t and then you tried to holla
4 tags
Because you …..
Were a stranger
Look like Trick Daddy
Happen to see a Spanish guy say something to me and ran back over to say “Oh that’s why you wouldn’t give me the p*ssy, you like white guys”.
0_o
3 tags
…because even though we were in a nice lounge-type atmosphere, you stopped in front of me and loudly proclaimed, “Daaaaaaamn you got some big titties, can I suck your titties?”
2 tags
Because I got more fingers on my left hand than you got teeth in your mouth! Keep it movin!
3 tags
Because you were sitting in your car on the other side of the street looking shady, while I walked past briskly in my business suit. I am on my way to an interview trying to get a job, sir! Why do YOU have time to be posted up hollerin?
2 tags
Because you looked about 50 years old and asked me if I would buy you lunch. What part of the game is that? Last I checked, the whole point of being someone’s PYT is that you don’t have to pay for anything.
Because even though i ignored you when you asked “So… are you freaky?” you went on to say “do you give head? are you good at it?” and even after i ignored THAT, you STILL decided to say “i’m tryna get some head”… uh, was that supposed to seal the deal? was i supposed to jump into your arms or fall to my knees (which is apparently what you...
2 tags
Because you told me you were married. And regularly saw prostitutes. And hit on another girl right in front of me. And you saw nothing wrong with it.
2 tags
because you don’t understand the meaning of NOT INTERESTED. Let’s recap shall we:
Him: So What are you 4’10”, 4’11” or something Me: Uh, yea sure..
Him: So what do you like to Me: [interrupts] I’m not interested
Him: What, you have a boyfriend? Me: No, I’m just not interested in dating anyone. Him: What guy hurt you so bad, mama? Me: What?...
2 tags
Because, Mr. Cab Driver with the gold teeth…you just told me a story about how you pistol whipped a rival gang member in the very spot I was sitting in.
3 tags
Because when I was standing at the bus stop you rode your bike up to me and asked if you could bring some beer and some cards over. You gotta be like 40 something, I am a young lady, sir!
2 tags
Because you said “I ain’t mean to be rude, but DAY-UM y’alls fine as a muthafucka!” This happened when we were heading to a location to do filming for a documentary on street harassment…the irony.
Because being the only black man (in a white yuppie suburban hangout) is not a good enough reason to come up to me asking “What’s a beautiful BLACK [strong emphasis on “black” - he pretty much yelled it] woman doing sitting by herself?” when you have a dried-out S-curl, are wearing a shirt that looks like a referee’s shirt along with skin-tight tapered black...
2 tags
Because while I’m standing at the bus stop minding my own business, Random Hustleman comes up to me and says:
“What type of perfume do you like?”
Me: *confused face* “Ummm… I guess Burberry”
Him: “What about Gucci?”
Me: “Gucci’s decent.” *looks away to see if bus is coming*
Him: “Well I’m selling some Gucci perfume...
1 tag
because when I told you I was Haitian you informed me “I must be one of those clean Haitians” -_-
2 tags
because while I walked by, you told your friends “I’ma hit that”. Why so confident kind sir?
1 tag
Because when I told you I was a pre-dentals student you said “that’s like a doctor right? nah that’s too much school. college ain’t for me”.
Because you approached me with your phone in your hand and asked me for my number.
because you don’t speak to me when I’m walking with my man, but you have so much to say when I’m alone.
3 tags
Because when you gave me a ride to work we stopped at Wal-Mart where you asked me to return your stack of post-its. Apparently, you have made so many returns they don’t let you do it anymore.
3 tags
…because the second thing you asked me after my name was: “So ma, you got a baby daddy?”
2 tags
…because after asking how my day was going, you coughed up and spit out a lumpy, yellow lougie the size of my fist, which landed 2 feet away from my left foot.
Full story here
because you admitted to crack use as i performed a health screen on you, i had to clean your hands for you to examine you, AND yet you still thought it was ok to flirt with me while my husband stared you down! #theaudacityofhope
4 tags
because you pretended to need directions, and when i told you i was married you pretended not to hear me!!
Housekeeping
My Name Ain’t Yo is back. Yay! Please submit, submit, submit…but keep a few things in mind:
Format: If you’ll notice, all the posts below start with “Because” and then have a brief reason as to why said scrub gets no love. Please abide by this.
Length: Keep it short and (bitter)sweet. Lengthy diatribes would be better saved for a blog or journal entry.
Content: If...
Because when I said “I have a man”, you said “Cool, I got a girlfriend.”
June 2010
6 posts
…because we “met” on Twitter and you kept harassing me about getting with you. Then when I told you I only saw you as a friend, you got all pissy and tweeted about me.
Because I ask ‘How old are you?” and you lie to me about being 23. Then you was real salty when I say ‘Sorry, you’re too young for me’ and proceeded to change your tune telling me you only said that cause you thought I was 22. Too bad… can’t believe a word you say now. Wishing you told your real age in the first place now, don’t cha?
Because you became frustrated when I kept asking you questions trying to understand why you were interested and why I should give you my number. You finally exclaim ‘Why Are you So HArd. Who HURT YOU! Dude mess it up for me.’ Sorry, you mistaken making an informed decision for bitterness. If you don’t wanna do the work then walk away..
because you asked me when you could f*ck me with my natural hair and my glasses on.
*blinks blankly*
Yelling ‘Hey Short & Pretty. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME GIRL!’ when I never seen you ever in my life and now know that I never want to see you again.
because you said “Id love to eat that pussy mami”. It scared me.
May 2010
5 posts
Because you told me about your ex after knowing each other for one day. Putting me in the friend category? FAIL.
Because you asked if I had children before you asked if I was single.
Because, when I said “fine” in response to your “how are you doing” you said: “I didn’t ask you how you looked, I asked you how you were.” Blank stare. flattery fail.
…because you walked up and the first thing you had to say was “I’m 28 and I have no kids!” That’s great, but I didn’t need you to yell it at me.
… because when you text me telling me you are 28 and ask how old I am, and I respond with “23,” you proceed to exclaim that you are a “child melister” because you didn’t know I was that “young.” And on top of that, you tried to tell me you were “celebit.”
Invest in a dictionary, sir, I beg you.
April 2010
173 posts
Because your pants were sagging and I could see your tightie-whities. You’re an adult. #datshitaintsexy
Because you gave me a very creepy up and down for a full 5 minutes before speaking and I was thoroughly grossed out before you even opened your mouth
-Because even though you are a grown man, you were confused as to why I was headed to work at 9 am on a weekday AND you didn’t know what a non-profit was
because you said ‘Hey Girl let me get those digits!’ Damn, can I get a hi, hey, good morning, a kumbaya.. SOMETHING before you demand my number.
because I’m not blind and I can EASILY see that wedding ring on your finger despite your best efforts to gesture with your right hand.
because you thought it was cute when I refused to give you my name…after the 5th time you asked.